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General Tim Drexler
Whitewater, WI
"I am master of the atom."
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Shogun Brian Harris
La Crosse, WI
"Good...bad...I'm the guy with the gun."
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Shogun Nick Stanton
Madison, WI
"I pledge that I will devote all my time and energy to eliminating the so-called 'Pine Room,' and all of the unwholesome activities which take place therein. Oh yeah, and I pledge to be forever faithful to 3-Ball, and to aid them in their quest for world domination."
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Private Jacob A. Berendes
La Crosse, WI
"I can't wait til' my pappy finds out that I've joined a real
'Gang!'"
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Dragoon Tim "Bloodshed" Sullivan
La Crosse, WI
"I devote my life to serve thy three rulers of the world. Thou arts wish is my life."
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Citizen Carl Nosek
Whitewater, WI
"The Eagle may soar, but the Weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine."
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General Nicholas Hobart
Minneapolis, MN
"3Ball is my one true master."
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Admiral Tonya Trapp Custis
Minneapolis, MN
"Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish in the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. (Genesis, 1:28)
I pledge myself to the cause of 3Ball's world domination because it's kind of like participating in one's very own episode of 'Pinky and the Brain.'"
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Shogun Aaron Jarvinen
Onalaska, WI
"The powers of the 3BALL are far too immense for those that are weak of heart. Let there be one."
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Citizen Julio Iglesias
La Crosse, WI
"I give you my honest pledge that I will not be another lame ass in this world..."
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Officer Derrick Woodward
La Crosse, WI
"As a follower and devotee of 3-Ball from near the beginning, I pledge my villenage to the mighty and all powerful gods known as 3-Ball. "
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Officer Eric Jacobson
La Crosse, WI
"I pledge aligiance to 3ball!!
... and 4ball
... and 5ball
... and even 6ball if there is one."
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General Heidi "The Secretary" Johnson
La Crosse, WI
"I pledge to dominate the world with my awesome powers and charming good looks."
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Shogun Schooly-D
Whitewater, WI
"Yo wassup Whitewater? Dis' page is DOPE! I mean its TIGHT, if ya know what I'm sayin'. I be a ghostface killa, so I'll kick it one time for y'all. S-s-s-so listen up and my name be Schooly. All the homies be jealous 'cause the ladeez wanna do me. I don't go to high school 'cause it aint no fun. But when I'm on the mic you better listen up, son."
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Admiral Johnathon, son of Saul
Jerhico
"I think you are actually the lord marcus. You will age and rule the universe retroactively over your mind."
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Dragoon Dean Willer
New Orleans, LA
"The only reason that I chose dragoon, is that I asked someone once what a Dragoon was. They answered, 'A Dragoon is a Lacky.' Since the question was retorical, and I already knew what a Dragoon was, I laughed in his face. He cried. So you can now refer to me as a lacky. Peace be with you...."
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Citizen John Doe
New York, NY
"Im a Chineese operative; but your all too dumb to realize it!"
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Private Roy Kenlick
La Crosse, WI
"GO FOR IT!"
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Captain Cornelius the Great
Milwaukee, WI
"I pledge allegiance to the glands of the united endocrine system. And to the hormones for which it pumps. One system, under the hypothalmus, with adrenaline and endorphins for all. Amen."
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Sgt. Kabookeyman
Hidden in Japan
"I'll help u out as long it takes or until i get bored in exchange for Luxembourg, a sponge, baked beans, and the right to pillage Bangladesh, plus a draft pick to be named later."
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Captain Kerri Panish
Shorewood, IL
"Instead of people building up walls against each other, we should be building bridges. Only then will peace be brought
unto all. Whoever said that three's a crowd? 3ball can count on me to help them tear down the walls!"
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Admiral Mouser
BFE, IA
"I am a rock star."
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Commander Matthew Taylor
Metairie, LA
"Pull up Your Pants, or I'll get the Hose!"
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Admiral David Webster
The Mystery Vortex
"I pledge to rid the world of proffitering gluttons, and save us all money."
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Private Bill Friedman
Iowa City, IA
"Following orders and committing atrocities in the name of 3Ball proudly since 1998."
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Commander Ben Stokes
LaCrosse, WI
"To kick ass and take names, whenever possible."
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Captain Rob Lenio
LaCrosse, WI
"Never underestimate the power of the 3ball."
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Soldier Gmen
Edmonton, AB Canada
Qual: Army man, Top Secret access in CanReservFor
Rank: Ocdt
Cor: Comms Ql4, Jump Course, RESO 1 (in other words I can kill a man at 300 m) --- Avrg rating
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Private Filete
Brown Deer, WI
"I pledge allegiance to 3 Ball
of the United States of America
and to the republic for which it stands.
One cue ball, under Marcus,
indivisible, with liberty and justice
for me."
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Citizen Tau Olson
Oshkosh, WI
"I vow to spread raging apathy throughout the masses."
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Commander Roger Xiong
LaCrosse, WI
"Have as many children as possible during your lifetime."
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Citizen Nick Brigham Schmuhl
Whitewater, WI
"Why must this be a war. I say we dance across America, singing songs of 3Ball, causing the citizens to dance like they have never danced before! We might need a catchy pop song also, but we'll talk of that later."
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Admiral Chris "Admiral Speece, SIR!!!" Respicio
Onalaska, WI
"I pledge to give my services for life to the omnipotent 3Ball. I was brought in and shown the light by my lord and master, The Jaw. I am a key element, as are we all. I have brought and will use my worldly knowlegde of international foreign affairs, language, war and weapons tactics, foreign food, beer, and bowling. I will use those such elements of me to defend 3Ball, and squish our enemies into icky little stains on thy shoes. This is the end of my too long pledge. A true Scot never dies, Jacob. Resistance is futile, I have been assimilated."
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Citizen Peter M. Gaston
Fairborn, OH
"I met Mr. J. W. Wickus at UIowa and was immeasurably impressed with his incredible tactical abilities, and with his complete grasp of the use of propaganda as a means to world domination. I maintain a pitifull web site for the Wright State University Chemistry Club, and humbly request admission into the 3ball domain (mainly a link to your magnificent empire) so that my pitifull site might gain some of the credibility and mystique which your noble efforts enjoy and rightly deserve. I pledge to spread the good news of world domination to Southwestern Ohio for the greater good of man."
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Soldier Demigogue
Ellwood City, Pa
"I pledge, as a good Goth scout to help subvert and pervert all the Namrs that I can get my grubby li'l paws on."
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Commander Comp
Indianapolis, IN
"I pledge to do anything to further the cause...especially if it involves the death of a certian president that we all love to hate!"
[Marcus's comment: We at 3BALL discourage the dispicable practice of assassinating world leaders.]
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Commander Kevin Kettner
Madison, WI
"This is one ASS kickin' site! Good job!"
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Dragoon Becca
Detroit, MI
"I pledge to do my best (and more) to assist 3ball in their plan for gloabal domination. No one has bribed or threatened me into doing this, I have done it of my own free will. Yea!"
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Citizen Andrea Kienle
Portland, OR
"If you guys have an album or a demo, I'll write it up in the Wilson High School Statesman newspaper. I'm an editor. When you coming to PDX?"
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Soldier Niteshade
Troy, PA
"I am one of the few true rebels, not one of those who believe in rebellion through conformity. I can be of value to any organization planning world dominance, as you will see."
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Admiral Dr. Prime
Nirvana
"I work for the betterment of all dictatorship!"
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Soldier mike
California
"I would love to pass the word around. i have a real audio show of which I could definately preach the word of 3ball. I am loud, rude, nasty, and crude, well at least the show is. anything you want me to say to the world? just ask."
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Commander CleGG
Neshanic, NJ
"Your mission is outstanding... I'm not going in to stay as just a member, but as a leader."
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Admiral Andrew Anderdson
Phoenix, AZ
"I shall strive for excellence in the field of supporting yes-man."
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Admiral Kane Brian Smith
Fort Collins, Colorado
"A sword in my right hand and my mind. The blood will fly, the walls will go down, and nothing will stand in my way."
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Shogun Profane Maynard
Palmerston North, Of grace
"I pledge to pluck the anus hairs of any passing mules and dedicate my life to grinding them up and inhaling the fetid dust for your amusement oh great lords....call me Dan."
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Shogun Carl Klouda
La Crosse, WI (Southside Hood)
"I pledge the $.20 cents in my pocket and the almighty pea-green rusting Chevey Celebrity."
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Citizen Shawn Erb
Cambridge, Ontario
"i pledge to be the best citizen that i can be and serve with all of my being to make the state successful."
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Shogun SailorStarCrusader
Crusadia Kingdom, Planet Crusade
"To aid in the fight, I plan to donate my car, my hacking skills, my unholy army of trained gerbils, and my cherry-flavored chapstick, if that'll help. And if something screws up, don't blame me. I just do what the voices tell me."
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Citizen Andrea Kienle
Portland, Oregon
"Disbelievers will be forced to wear Ribbons of Shame and drown themselves in the Great Salt Lake."
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Citizen Ernesto Guevara
Bitchsmack, MD
"I think that I'll be good for your mission of world domination because Im well versed in revolutionary lit. ect. Plus Im handy with a gun."
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Citizen Rossini
Somewhere inside the U.K
"So, you reckon you own my soul do you ? Think again the Idea of ownership is why I want to earase all the capitalistic scum from this planet. The T.I.N.G is extremely angry. DO NOT UNDER ESTIMATE US or we will no matter who you are or where you live kill you, in the great words of Che Guavara, 'Hasta la victoria siempre'. Die you capitalist scum. You could beg for forgiveness or be the first to die when the revolution comes. Its your choice e-mail me if your up to it."
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Shogun Scott
Clerwater, FL
"What the hell are you guys doing behind a university subdirectory?!? This site is far too cool to keep hidden. The random band name generator is nearly addictive. I laughed my ass off when I read "Bob Saget has no soul." Seriously, this site needs to be hyped. I'll be back."
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General bigmac
The Internet
"I dont know, i thought this page was kick ass though."
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Shogun LetterA
Archimedes Base, Moon
"I pledge to provide you with the best treachery available to serve my own ends as supremor.
Thank you very much for unwittingly entering servitude at your very birth, Batch Consignment Components."
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Shogun VoDaddy
Yes, Frenzy
"To Cause general confusion in the masses and otherwise distort the common reality."
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Commander Lady G
U.K
"I don't have a solution to this - but I admire the problem. Oh and by the way - There can never be a crisis when I am in control because my schedule is alreday full."
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Shogun Cody Lloyd
Cleveland, OH
"I vow to assist 3-Ball in dominating the world in anyway possible, especially relieving the tensions of female 3-ballers."
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Shogun Eric, Buttweasel Nabob
Fairview Park, OH
"I pledge to violently eviscerate all opposers of 3 Ball!"
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Private Fernando
Curitiba, PR
"I'm smart."
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Citizen kev
london
"please let me in"
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Sargent Cheezy. G
Your own imagination
"they spelled seargent wrong"
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Return to the HQ...
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