"For years, scores of people (including himself) have been fascinated by Mike's hair. What can account for such an unusual phenomenon you ask? Well, let's take a look at the facts: "

Mike's Hair Alias: Yuzzum Color: Brownish-Blonde Consistantcy: Thick Average height: 0.72' Flammable: Yes See also: Shag Carpeting

"For whatever reason, people continue to be drawn into conversations or bizzare fetishes involving Mike's hair. It gets cut appoxamately every month by a team of only the most trained cosmotology experts. Mike's future plans for the hair are at this point undetermined, but he did mention that he might have it thinned. For more information, e-mail Mike's hair."