NewsFile: 3B1B
Declassified Information


Central High School Senior Class to Graduate

La Crosse, WI. In an act of pure spontaneity, the Central High School class of 1996 will be graduating in early June. In celebration of this unheard of event, students and families have been spending hours of effort to organize parties and purchase gifts for their outstanding graduates. Thousands will converge upon the La Crosse Center to witness a intricately mundane social ritual that will represent the academic pinnacle for most of those receiving high school diplomas. It has been rumored that several, possibly many, other schools around the country are graduating students as well. But in preparation for just such an emergency, parents and students alike have deafened themselves to the rest of the world to maintain the image that they are truly unique and special.